Hot and Cold

Being rounded up by the police as an absconder from a care home is true. The first time was early on a dark wet morning and I was on my way to get my paper. The policeman asked 'What's your name? I was so flustered by the suddenness, the radio chatter from the police car, the sparkly lights in the dark and wet, that I couldn't think of it - err uhm - The policeman asked - Is it Pete?  - 'NO, it's not Pete! I said

The next time I was almost home. The policeman spoke into his phone 'I think we’ve got him'  I gave my name instantly but hadn't any confirming identification like a credit card. It was opposite where my grandaughter works but she wasn't at work that day. They took a photo and I gave an email address, I think it was my grandaughters,it wasn't my grandson's because he would have been tempted to say - 'Never seen him before'

A young girl writes a letter to her parents - If you're standing up you may need to sit down, if you're sitting down you may need to lie down!

The parents saw their 19 year old daughter off to university. They received a letter saying how well she was settling in, then nothing.

After some weeks of increasing anxiety they received a letter.

Dear Mum and Dad

As you know I've been at university for three months now. I must first apologise for not writing to you sooner. Please excuse my thoughtlessness, but things have been hectic on campus to say the least.

It might be a good idea if you sit down. If you are sitting down you may want to lie down.

 The good news is, that just like you said, The Freshers Ball was fantastic. An unforgettable experience, and I got to meet a lot of new people. Paramedics, policemen and of course some wonderful doctors who tell me that my skull fracture is well on the way to healing.

 I don't actually remember jumping from my bedroom window, although when he visited me in hospital, the Chief Fire Officer did praise my presence of mind, and said that he'd never seen a Hall of Residence go up quite so quickly - even with 30 little Christmas lights so close to the curtains.

 Fortunately, my fall was broken by Ben, the night-watchman. He said I wasn't at all heavy in just my underwear and even carried me to his room in the Gate House to wait for the ambulance.

 Would you believe it took nearly an hour for them to arrive? Luckily Ben's a qualified First Aider and was able to give me the kiss of life and also massage my heart several times to keep the blood circulating.

 Anyway, until they rebuild the Halls, Ben has kindly invited me to share his flat with him.

 Some of the other girls have been a little horrid to me recently, but I put that down to the shock of the fire and the fact that they're living in tents in the carpark.

 Ben is a lot younger in outlook than he appears in real life and we've fallen deeply in love with each other and plan to marry.

 We haven't set a date yet, but it will have to be soon if I don't want to walk down the aisle with my bump showing.

 Oh, yes, by the way, I'm pregnant. Isn’t it marvellous news. I know how much both of you are looking  forward to being grandparents because you talk of little else to my elder sister, Louise.

 Has she told you yet that she can't have children? It's so sad but, as they say, every cloud has a silver lining and I know you will welcome my baby and give it the love devotion and tender care you gave me  when I was a child.

 Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no fire at the Halls, I did not fracture my skull, I am not engaged or even pregnant. There is no man in my life and as far as I know Louise can have children.

 However I am only getting a Third in History and a Fail in Philosophy and I wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.

 Your loving daughter,

 Janie.

The above is from the book 'How to Persuade & Influence People' by Philip Hesketh an excellent blue print for success in business and life, the letter teaches the 'hot and cold' technique of breaking bad news. Get the book  from the advert column on the right of this blog, only about a tenner - ignore Smiler my blogshop cat.

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Golf Trap

 As I trudge to the shops police cars sometimes screech to a stop beside me. Apparently I look like an absconder from a care home. If they make the film ‘Escape from Care Home Zero’ you can bet I’ll be in it!

The couple were enjoying a leisurely sunshine breakfast on their patio.

The husband was absorbed in his book.

"If I die first would you marry again?" the wife asked.

" What a subject to bring up on an enjoyable morning like this. I haven't even thought about it"

"O.K, but would you"? " Well yes, if the right person, someone like you, came along"

"And would you live in this, our house"?

"Oh,I suppose so, I like it here. Now please give it a rest"

" What about our bed, would you sleep in it with her " ?

"Yes”, says an exasperated husband.

"And would you let her play with my golf clubs"?

" Of course not, she's left handed" !

--------------------------------------------

Oops! - here's the perfect golf gift for him then and most male

golfers who like a laugh -

Only about a tenner from the product adverts display on the right side of this blog - beware of 'Smiler' my blogshop cat.

 Or click this link

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Sauvignon Blanc

 

At age 90 I made a pass at a young girl to prove I'd still 'Got It'. She said "Listen grandad, I do speed dating not carbon dating"

A business can take years to build but destroyed in 5 minutes

Classic example, Gerald Ratner

 "22 August 1992: Gerald Ratner's 'crap' comment haunts jewellery chain"

Britain’s biggest jewellery group Ratner's jewellery chain, admits that its business was decisively wounded by former chairman Gerald Ratner's jokey remark describing one of its products as “total crap”.

I was reminded of the Gerald Ratner story by  something similar in Phillip Hesketh's book - 'How to Persuade & Influence People' - A self improvement, motivational and reference book to read and often dip into. A favourite of mine.

Mr Ratner’s ill-judged comment accelerated a decline for Britain’s biggest jewellery group which sank  £122.3m into the red in the year to February 1992 and led to the closure of 330 shops in Britain and the US.

In Philip Hesketh's book a case study tells of the rise and fall of New Zealander Brent Marris, who started 'Wither Hills' winery in 1994 and began blending Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay and Pinot grapes from his father's Marlborough vineyard and his own land.

Marris was good at his job and rewards and recognition followed.

Wither Hills became the most popular Sauvignon Blanc in New Zealand and Marris one of its most decorated winemakers.

 By 2006 he was very wealthy, but became complacent, making what he called a technical mistake - entering into the New Zealand magazine 'Cuisine' wine awards a slightly different wine than the one available on most shop shelves.

 The resulting criticism caused the first doubts in some minds.

 'Wither Hills' brand is still very popular under different leadership

(Our family favourite brand of Sauvignon Blanc is 'Oyster Bay' also from New Zealand's Marlborough area)

 The 'How to Persuade & Influence People' book is rich in lessons and examples of how to succeed in business and life.

 I posted a case study from the same book on this blog a few weeks ago - it is very funny and a lesson in the hot and cold technique to break bad news - 

A Young Girl Writes a Letter To Her Parents 

The ability to persuade and influence is more vital than ever with the job scarcity caused by the pandemic and transition now underway to more robots and the technological age.

 Here are a few more nuggets of wisdom from the book -

 The secrets to excellent customer service - indeed to running a good business in a few words                                                              

Be Nice - Be Honest -  Ask your customers more questions - Truly Care about your customers needs - Do what you say you are going to do - Exceed your customers expectations - Do all this every day. Day in day out

In fact they are good rules for success and happiness in life generally, just replace customers with the word partner or colleague.

Remember, 10% extra effort and attention to detail will bring a 100% return and advantage over competitors. Proven time and time again.

A man came to me in tears -"My wife's left me, but I haven't done anything! - (Says it all!)

Will cause moments of quiet reflection - Get the book- only about a tenner - from the product adverts on the right of this Blog -  'Smiler' my blogshop cat overseeing!

or click this Amazon link

It has changed lives - just one of it's many nuggets of wisdom could make a difference in yours.

Praise for Philip Hesketh's book - Dozens & dozens of testimonials - here's a couple of shortened ones -

"It does exactly what it says on the cover. It’s a great book that ........ Vice President. Ronseal

"How to persuade and influence is one of the great skills in life. The government should appoint someone to teach us. I'd give the job without hesitation to Philip Hesketh" - Steve McDermott Author.Winner of the European Business Speaker of the Year Award.

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The Biter Bit -'Comeuppance'for Nuisance Phone Caller!

  Definition of a nano second –  time from when the traffic lights turn green, and the car behind blasts it’s horn.) 

One mans way of dealing with nuisance phone calls

The phone rings

A distant female voice with a slight echo on the line

"Hello, Sir, I'm just calling about your recent car accident; "

"Ah yes, my car accident" I said pulling up a comfortable chair. “I am so glad you've called about that terrible business"

There was a pause at the end of the line and then the woman said "Can you give me the details "?

"But you must know the details" I said "You called me after all"

There was another pause

"Just tell me in your own words" she said

"Well, I said, "I was in my car with six other people and the dog, when we were in collision with a police van full of policemen.

I broke my arm my wife broke her leg and four policeman were injured. Is it something you think you can sort out for me"?

There was a longer pause while the woman took this all in

"six passengers in your car" she said finally

"And the dog" I said, "she bruised her nose poor thing"

The woman did not seem bothered about the dog

"What sort of car was it" she asked

"A mini"

"A mini "? she exclaimed !

"Yes a Mini Cooper" I said, "Oh, and I was drunk" 

There was some sort of hushed conferring going on now at the end of the phone, and the sound of a second voice

Then the woman said "Sorry I have just got to hand you over to someone more senior"

An older more officious sounding woman came on the line.

"So sir, you say that you were in the mini car with six passengers and you were drunk and you hit a police van"

"Yes, and on drugs" I said, "I was on drugs too"

Now there was a sound of raised gabbling voices from the other end of the line.

Then the older woman said "Thank you for wasting our time."

"No" I said "Thank you for wasting mine, feel free to call again. 

I enjoyed that" --     And I hung up. 

Curated by jibberjabber - I've lost the origin! Perhaps author will contact me to be acknowledged

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Will my Great Grandchildren GO to the Moon?

 Mother's advice before giving my first talk in public - 'Don't try to be clever, just be yourself' ?

I know I’m old, but!

I was sitting in summer shorts with a grandchild aged 8 - I have a leg scar from a dog bite - He asked about it, I joked “It’s a war wound”

He said “Canon ball or Arrow”?

When any of my 4 great grandchildren call in, I look at them and think what will they see in their lifetime.?

If the speed of change since my birth in 1926, continues, then we are into fantasy land I think?

Imagine my great grandpa looking at me when I was 5 in 1931 and wondering what I would see?

He was born in 1841, would have no idea his great grandchild (me) would see comic book  science fiction stories of rocket ships taking man to the moon - come true! - 

It did - 

In 1969 I watched spellbound, nerves on edge, the landing happening in real time, through another marvel -  television.

I am fascinated with what the next 100 years will bring ? Indications are it will be unimaginable.

Consider the bewildering transformation going on now - a dramatic period of transition and evolution surely?

What you don't know about you don’t miss

As well as being a force for good, wider access to knowledge brings unrest to deprived parts of the world.

  I can relate to this by comparison with life in the village where I grew up in the 1930s. We were content knowing little of what was happening beyond our village.

But I know now our living conditions would be thought hard - paraffin oil lighting, a trek to the bottom of garden for the hole in the ground toilet

My grandchildren have no idea of such conditions. I’ve only to say ‘In my Day’, and their eyes roll upwards in a ‘Here we go again’ expression.

The best and funniest example of ‘In my day’ hardship stories is a Monty Python sketch.

Monty python sketch -

 https://youtu.be/VKHFZBUTA4k

P.S.- 'Will my great grandchildren go to the moon'? - My equivalent in the 1930's was the annual school days outing to Barry Island, our nearest seaside. Oh, the excitement for me and big brother Stan as the coach came into view. It was such a big thing in our lives we almost wet ourselves! (Barry Island - Now the setting for top TV series 'Gavin & Stacey')

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Monday Oct 5th 2020 - MIT Scientists say Nuclear Fusion Energy Could Be Closer Than Thought - 

Researchers at MIT and a start-up spun out of MIT are working on a nuclear fusion experiment ...........  Link to article 

- https://oilprice.com/Alternative-Energy/Nuclear-Power/MIT-Scientists-Nuclear-Fusion-Energy-Could-Be-Closer-Than-Thought.html

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The Phone's Ringing - Its For YOU-OO

 

 Be the lead husky otherwise you only get one view!

The first time I saw a mobile phone would be the late 80s early 90s.

It was big chunk of a thing. Many of the early users were called ‘Yuppies’ – slang, for ‘Young Urban Professionals’ easily recognised by their shirt sleeve order, trousers supported by coloured braces, with one hand holding something the size of a house brick to their ear.

 Not many people had mobile phones. After all, why would anyone  carry a house brick around unless they were a business person or up to no good.

 Social media was snail mail, or live conversation in clubs, pubs or get togethers

Going on holiday in the 80s and 90s no one else knew what it was like until you got home.

 To get your snaps processed you’d take the film out of the camera, pop down to a photo shop, or send by mail

If you were dependant on the postman for the return of your memories - A familiar song  at that time was a frustrated wailing of - ‘Some Day My Prints Will Come'

Some of the snaps would have a thumb over them, some would be out of focus, or out of frame, a few plain embarrassing.

 You’d maybe get a dozen decent ones to pop into the photo book , never to look at again except to bore visitors.

 When mobile phones became popular and more widely available they quickly became a -'Can't live without' - necessity

 Transforming everything by their ‘always with you ‘convenience.

 Many would try their new toy at every chance. Giving an excited  shouted running commentary wherever they were, or doing -

 'I’m on the train’ - ‘Just going to the toilet’

 My first encounter with a mobile phone scared me!

 I was in an airport public toilet cubicle, when a guy's voice from the next cubicle said ‘Hello’

I was out of there faster than the speed of light, without bothering about the notice -

 ‘Please adjust your dress before leaving’

  By jibberjabbber

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Pinch Yourself! - Free Energy From Nuclear Fusion?

'Be the lead husky otherwise you only get one view!'

Why did governments risk the career futures of youth with Covid lockdown?

Is it because Governments know that breakthrough technologies to quickly transform economies may be close?

We are in transition - inventions are imminent that will spawn thousands of new start-ups and jobs. Stimulating growth, similar to the discovery of electricity, which opened a door to the internet which then opened more doors to thousands of new opportunities - like ripples on a pond.

The speed of  5G when fully implemented will bring enormous change world wide - It is much much more than 4G updated, and remember 4G speed was transforming – it brought an 'App' explosion almost overnight, with billion-dollar apps like Uber, Deliveroo, and Spotify..

 With 5Gspeed, an HD movie will take all of 2.5 seconds to download!

That’s 100-times faster than 4G! - that takes some taking in!

See more on what 5G will bring in my post on Steemit, including a video of a surgeon operating remotely on a patient made possible by 5G speed. Incredible.

https://steemit.com/five5g/@ijavee/5g-speed-fasten-your-seat-belts-for-lift-off

A world of abundant energy could also be excitingly close and virtually free. Described as 'squandrable amounts of energy' in the book 'Abundance - The Future is Better than you think – ( Get It from the right sidebar of my blog)

Prospects for developing nuclear fusion as a feasible source of energy have significantly improved, say experts.

Nuclear fusion differs significantly from nuclear fission, our only way of getting electricity from atoms since the 1950s.

Fusion is what produces the sun's energy.

Enough energy from the sun falls on the Sahara Desert in a day to fuel the whole world for a year!

Researchers have been trying for decades, to "Build the Sun in a box" as one physicist dubbed it. The basic idea is to take a type of hydrogen gas, heat it to more than 100 million degrees until it forms a plasma, and then control it with powerful magnets until the atoms fuse and release energy.

To deliver the fusion concept, countries have focused their energies on a major international co-operative called Iter.

The plan is to have the first plasma generated in 2025. However, getting from this step to producing energy is extremely difficult.

The UK government has recently announced an investment of £200m to deliver electricity from a fusion reactor by 2040.

But perhaps the major excitement comes from private companies. They are usually smaller, nimbler, (for example -Tesla's Eion Musk's Company SpaceX, successfully launching a manned rocket to the International Space Station for millions of dollars less than NASA )

There are now dozens of them around the world, raising funds and pushing forward, often with different approaches to Fusion that will generate the squandrable amounts of energy, transforming economies and lives everywhere.

But sceptics and critics say - with the price of wind and solar continuing to drop, existing renewables might offer a more economical and timely method of tackling climate change , than an unproven technology like nuclear fusion.

Either way The futures bright - 'Put that light o ut n!

Nuclear fusion video -

Compiled by jibberjabbber

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