Moving On -"The Future is Better Than You Think": Hilarious ( I’m Told). My Odd Socks Story.

Every Christmas I would receive pairs of socks as presents. And shaving soap. It was a tradition. I could count on it. As regular as – well – Christmas.

But last year it didn’t happen. I got books and chocolate and a computer mouse mat.

It’s the internet. The wider choice of shops and gifts that can be viewed and purchased from the armchair, makes jostling a way through dense crowds to the high street sock shop, very unattractive.

So having got used to my sock situation becoming dire approaching Christmas, I didn’t need a calendar.

A glance in my sock drawer consisting entirely of odd socks indicated the time of year, but not to worry, soon there would be newcomers, which at first would look out of place, because they always came as identical twins. How odd !

But not for long. The system would soon turn them odd. It never fails.

Two socks enter the washer. Two socks exit. As household tasks go what could be simpler? Socks go from drawer, to feet, to dirty clothes, to washer and dryer, and back into the drawer.

Of course, anyone associated with a family knows the truth. Socks disappear. Virtually every residence in the world, has a drawer, pile, or basket of mismatched socks.

Millions – no, billions – of socks exist with odd partners not of their choosing. Thrown together in the ritual of the weekly wash.

But a cunning plan has emerged to fight the tyranny.

Socks Ready Paired Odd!

By short circuiting the existing odd sock breeding and pairing disorder, it will turn the tables on the gremlins in the drum, putting them in a confused spin seeing socks start as they normally finish – odd.

It will work. Look at this guy striding out in his odd socks. How confident he looks. As well he might. He knows he has another pair at home exactly like it !

Get in fashion.Become an odd socker today.Plenty of choice at funny-socks.uk
Image Credit joy of cartoon pictures.com

And acceptance of odd socks in public would have saved me a senior moment recently, when I spent ages dressing one morning trying to find a sock.

Discovering after 30 minutes of turning the bedroom upside down, that I had put both on the same foot.

If wearing odd socks were the norm I could have found a quick replacement from the sock drawer with my eyes shut.

Brilliant. If odd socks make for happiness why not a website selling odd and funny socks.

And there is – http://www.funny-socks.uk

Or For USA http://www.funny-socks.net

The company haven’t got around to selling packs of new odd socks yet, but the technology is at an advanced stage and the experts are confident a breakthrough is close.

There is so much secrecy about odd sock making. Funny socks u.k think washing machine companies are in on the conspiracy. Why make a viewing port hole of thick opaque glass that you can't see through? All the whirling and swirling is obviously designed to distract.

Fortunately, the eureka moment is near, because funny socks uk are fortunate in having the help of two odd sock whistle blowers Sog and Sag.

Lots of socks whistle – phew!– but each of these insiders started as one of identical twins. Having been through the wash many times they know the terrible secret that tore them from their kin – tumbled, tortured, and turned,like all other pairs – odd.

They are only able to safely reveal their story because slack and neglected conditions in the sock drawer allowed them to escape to tell all to funnysocks.uk.

And now because of the growing popularity of funny socks uk range of team socks, Sog and Sag think it is only a matter of time before bitter rivals accidentally become paired odd!

It’s not a problem when a plain red colour is seen out with a blue. But imagine a Chelsea with a Tottenham .

Or a New York Yankee with a Boston Red Sox. Riots have been known to start for less.

And socks deserve better. They are taken for granted. Put upon,,misused,,abused, accused – despite this they will stick unchanged loyally to you. They are there every morning, standing in the corner, ‘locate in the dark, whiff wafter’ gently wafting. (Patent pending)

Waste of money, the boffins overlooked the fact that people cannot smell their own odours

It’s an undeserved soggy socks image, and in this enlightened age funny socks.uk are determined to do something about it.

Their philosophy is simple. Socks want to please. If their wearer is happy they are happy. They have a history of doing good going back to when their family relative – Ladies Tights in particular – were known to provide services in addition to those intended.

Especially in cars. I can recall a story of a car’s radiator overheating with a broken fan belt, and the lady passenger’s tights being stretched around the fan pulley wheels to enable the car to limp to a garage.

So the modern sock has a lot to live up to. A proud record to protect.

Because let’s not forget other roles of the sock – One is absorbing perspiration.

The foot is among the heaviest producers of sweat in the body, it can produce over 0.25 US pints (0.12 l) of perspiration per day.

Socks help to absorb this sweat and draw it to areas where air can evaporate the perspiration. In cold environments, socks made from wool insulate the foot and decrease the risk of frostbite.

It’s incredible that in the long history of the sock, they have always been an object of ridicule and neglect, despite working undercover, mostly in darkness, providing comfort without appreciation.

If the cruelty to socks society did random spot checks, many wearers would be shaking in their shoes.

So change today, and be assured that the many benefits related in the story above, could deliver the happy outcome expressed in the phrase below.

'Rejoice and be exceedingly clad – err, sorry – glad’

Article written by jibberjabberco – aka Ivor Vale – jibberjabberco@gmail.com

If you buy through either of the links – http://www.funny-socks.uk or http://www.funny-socks.net I get a small commission from Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com.

But I don’t mind! Thank you.