The Biter Bit. The 'Comeuppance' for Nuisance Phone Callers.

The Biter Bit

One mans way of dealing with nuisance phone calls

The phone rings

A distant female voice with a slight echo on the line

"Hello, Sir,I'm just calling about your recent car accident; "

"Ah yes my car accident" I said pulling up a comfortable chair."I am so glad you've called about that terrible business"

There was a pause at the end of the line and then the woman said "Can you give me the details "?

"But you must know the details" I said "You called me after all"

There was another pause

"Just tell me in your own words" she said

"Well, I said, "I was in my car with six other people and the dog,when we were in collision with a police van full of policemen.

I broke my arm my wife broke her leg and four policeman were injured.Is it something you think you can sort out for me"?

There was a longer pause while the woman took this all in

"six pasengers in your car" she said finally

"And the dog" I said, "she bruised her nose poor thing"
The woman did not seem bothered about the dog

"What sort of car was it" she asked

"A mini"

"A mini "? she exclaimed !

"Yes a Mini coupe" I said, "Oh, and I was drunk"

There was some sort of hushed conferring going on now at the end of the phone,and the sound of a second voice

Then the woman said "Sorry I have just got to hand you over to someone more senior"

An older more officious sounding woman came on the line.

"So sir, you say that you were in the mini car with six passengers and you were drunk and you hit a police van"

"Yes, and on drugs" I said, "I was on drugs too"

Now there was a sound of raised gabbling voices from the other end of the line.

Then the older woman said "Thank you for wasting our time."

"No" I said "Thank you for wasting mine, feel free to call again. I enjoyed that"

And I hung up

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